In preparation for the Beth Moore simulcast "So Long, Insecurity", I am reading her book by the same name. OUCH! is what I have to say! Most every word is hitting home....and not in a good way either.
I have known mostly forever that I have insecurity issues and a bit of inferiority complex thrown in the mix. I have known most of that time that I tend to try to get my sense of security from the wrong sources. But to have to read my life in the pages of a book written by another...well, that's just rude!
Beth Moore mentions that whenever you look at someone and think, "They must have a great life because they are ________.", then that is probably one of the areas you are most insecure. Well....it's true for me! I have two areas that I could use to fill in that blank....areas I think of as my biggest weaknesses...areas that I think, deep in my heart, if those areas were changed, I would be happy, fulfilled, content, joyful, etc...
I am learning....slowly....that I need to be content where God has me....with the "weak" areas God has for me...putting my security in Jesus and Jesus alone! I have been a Christian for almost 34 years, and I am just know beginning to learn the tip of the iceberg about who God is and the amazing work He has already done for me! Whew....I AM a slow learner!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
About Face
Today has started out interestingly. I have had to face some of the uglies about myself and it's not pretty! It has dawned on me that God is using this as a lesson...and I'd like to go ahead and learn whatever He has for me and not have to go through this again.
Here is what has happened:
I received an email that relayed some ugly things said about the way I have handled an event that I am in charge of. My pride instantly got wounded....if that person only knew the amount of hours I have put into this...how much I cared about this. The accusations were hurtful.
But as I began speaking my frustrations aloud, it hit me that this was an opportunity for me to allow God to work through me. What a novel idea! Stopping my natural self...curbing my "right" to defend myself...forfeiting my ability to "teach" this person what is right and wrong...
So...what started out as frustrating, maddening, and upsetting...has turned out to be a great day where I am excited about how God is going to use me...how He is going to work through me...how He is going to mature me...if only a little bit!
Here is what has happened:
I received an email that relayed some ugly things said about the way I have handled an event that I am in charge of. My pride instantly got wounded....if that person only knew the amount of hours I have put into this...how much I cared about this. The accusations were hurtful.
But as I began speaking my frustrations aloud, it hit me that this was an opportunity for me to allow God to work through me. What a novel idea! Stopping my natural self...curbing my "right" to defend myself...forfeiting my ability to "teach" this person what is right and wrong...
So...what started out as frustrating, maddening, and upsetting...has turned out to be a great day where I am excited about how God is going to use me...how He is going to work through me...how He is going to mature me...if only a little bit!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Darby's Pre-Birthday Celebration
Darby
Darby and Bailey
Darby with a new itunes gift card.
Darby with a cool new jacket!
Darby with her favorite new gift....iTouch!
Let the embarrassment begin! The singers are Red Robin!
Darby after the singing....but with her ice cream and balloon! Now it's really a birthday!Darby turns 12 tomorrow! Our day, tomorrow, is shaping up to be a bit crazy from outside sources, so we decided to celebrate her birthday today. She chose chocolate brioche for breakfast, Red Robin for lunch, and chicken nuggets and stuffed shells and lima beans for dinner....ice cream, of course, for dessert.
I don't know where the years have gone since 1998! Darby we love you so much. Our family would not be the same without you! Have a terrific birthday!
Friday, February 19, 2010
My Small Faith
I have been praying for two dear friends! They both have different things that are going on in their lives. I have been privileged to have been asked to pray with and for them in these areas. I know that prayer is the most important, life-changing thing I can do....but I want to do more! I want to DO something?
Am I the only one who feels that way?
The things that are being prayed for are definitely in God's will...the Bible says so! These two things, though so very different from each other, are dear to God. I can point to specific verses that say how He feels about them.
So...in my limited human capability...it seems that He would jump right on these and fix them.
But in my bit of knowledge of God...I know that things are done in His timing.
aarrgghh! Am I the only one who feels this way?
So...in my small faith...I will keep praying for God to work His miracles in these two lives. I will keep praising Him even when I don't understand. And I will keep walking with my friends through this time waiting in anticipation to see the great things God has in store for them!
Am I the only one who feels that way?
The things that are being prayed for are definitely in God's will...the Bible says so! These two things, though so very different from each other, are dear to God. I can point to specific verses that say how He feels about them.
So...in my limited human capability...it seems that He would jump right on these and fix them.
But in my bit of knowledge of God...I know that things are done in His timing.
aarrgghh! Am I the only one who feels this way?
So...in my small faith...I will keep praying for God to work His miracles in these two lives. I will keep praising Him even when I don't understand. And I will keep walking with my friends through this time waiting in anticipation to see the great things God has in store for them!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Give Me Your Eyes
I have recently been reconnecting with high school friends via facebook. It's really cool to re-meet them and catch up on their lives, their spouses, their families, and their jobs....but God has opened my eyes to so many of them being lost spiritually!
Though I can't know their hearts...I can read their status updates and read their responses to others' comments...and for several, it's pretty obvious where they stand.
God has burdened me with praying for them and for a way to either be ready to respond OR to maybe even initiate the conversation.
The following video is how I am feeling more and more these days!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2cYxOkR2-g
Though I can't know their hearts...I can read their status updates and read their responses to others' comments...and for several, it's pretty obvious where they stand.
God has burdened me with praying for them and for a way to either be ready to respond OR to maybe even initiate the conversation.
The following video is how I am feeling more and more these days!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2cYxOkR2-g
Thursday, February 11, 2010
A New Perspective!
Friends....ever feel like life has gotten you down? Ever feel overwhelmed at your situation? Ever think that God doesn't see what is happening to you? Ever having trouble having joy in any and every situation?
The brother of friends of ours just recently died recently from cancer and the link below is his wife's response to his death. It is remarkable, convicting, and so inspiring! God is honored, uplifted, and praised!
After you read this, you can't help but feel better about every situation you are going through!
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/laynecole
The brother of friends of ours just recently died recently from cancer and the link below is his wife's response to his death. It is remarkable, convicting, and so inspiring! God is honored, uplifted, and praised!
After you read this, you can't help but feel better about every situation you are going through!
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/laynecole
Monday, February 8, 2010
Wife Bear
Ben always says that I have that "mama bear" instinct in me...and I must say that it is true. Try something with my kids, and my instinct kicks in and it isn't always pretty. But I have found over the years that I also have a "wife bear" instinct as well!
When I see my man hurting, angry, frustrated, or depressed over something that others have done...I get angry!
I am that way right now! Ben is undergoing anger, frustration, and questioning because of the actions of one person and there is nothing I can do to take it away. I am praying fervently for him. I am with him standing ready to do anything he might need. I am his advocate and truth-teller. I am more than willing to tell him when he is the one at fault and needs to change his thinking. But I am also just as willing to stand with him acknowledging the difficulty of the situation and joining with him in prayer.
I desperately want Ben's innocence and blamelessness in this matter to be out front, but I know that is also the wrong thing to want...so....I want God to get the glory from whatever is happening and from our reactions to it!
When I see my man hurting, angry, frustrated, or depressed over something that others have done...I get angry!
I am that way right now! Ben is undergoing anger, frustration, and questioning because of the actions of one person and there is nothing I can do to take it away. I am praying fervently for him. I am with him standing ready to do anything he might need. I am his advocate and truth-teller. I am more than willing to tell him when he is the one at fault and needs to change his thinking. But I am also just as willing to stand with him acknowledging the difficulty of the situation and joining with him in prayer.
I desperately want Ben's innocence and blamelessness in this matter to be out front, but I know that is also the wrong thing to want...so....I want God to get the glory from whatever is happening and from our reactions to it!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
My Faith Has a Firm Foundation!
We have had three families we know recently experience difficult situations. All believers. All profess to have complete faith in God and in the finishing work of His son Jesus.
It has been interesting to see the different reactions to these circumstances and their faith in the process.
Two have experienced deaths...we would call them untimely. Both so young! Both left behind a spouse and two children. One was sudden and the other drawn out and expected.
The spouses have both been so stalwart in their faith....in their trust of God during difficult circumstances...so God-honoring in their questions...so evangelical in their responses to others.
The other family experienced an unplanned pregnancy. No death, except for the death of dreams...no saying goodbye to a loved one; in fact they got to say hello to the sweet life that came into their family!...no God-honoring questioning, but anger, disappointment, and frustration.
Why the difference in the three families? Why are two families resting in the comfort and peace from Jesus and the other is fighting with all they have?
I have been encouraged by the two and heartbroken by the third. I have seen the face of Jesus in the two and brought to my knees in prayer by the third. I have renewed faith and vigor by the two and a saddened spirit by the third.
How do you react to difficult trials? Do you feel as though God has abandoned you and left you to the world? Do you feel as though He is bolstering you and preparing you for some other purpose later in life? Do you feel like you and your difficulties are just a small part of God's great plan or does God exist to make your life happy?
I don't always answer these questions the way I would like. My faith gets shaken. Questions arise. But the two families have maybe gone through these events just for me....to strengthen my resolve that God is good....that Jesus loves me....and they have great plans for my life!
It has been interesting to see the different reactions to these circumstances and their faith in the process.
Two have experienced deaths...we would call them untimely. Both so young! Both left behind a spouse and two children. One was sudden and the other drawn out and expected.
The spouses have both been so stalwart in their faith....in their trust of God during difficult circumstances...so God-honoring in their questions...so evangelical in their responses to others.
The other family experienced an unplanned pregnancy. No death, except for the death of dreams...no saying goodbye to a loved one; in fact they got to say hello to the sweet life that came into their family!...no God-honoring questioning, but anger, disappointment, and frustration.
Why the difference in the three families? Why are two families resting in the comfort and peace from Jesus and the other is fighting with all they have?
I have been encouraged by the two and heartbroken by the third. I have seen the face of Jesus in the two and brought to my knees in prayer by the third. I have renewed faith and vigor by the two and a saddened spirit by the third.
How do you react to difficult trials? Do you feel as though God has abandoned you and left you to the world? Do you feel as though He is bolstering you and preparing you for some other purpose later in life? Do you feel like you and your difficulties are just a small part of God's great plan or does God exist to make your life happy?
I don't always answer these questions the way I would like. My faith gets shaken. Questions arise. But the two families have maybe gone through these events just for me....to strengthen my resolve that God is good....that Jesus loves me....and they have great plans for my life!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Freaky (but true) Bible Stories
Everyday I get up early and have my quiet time before the house awakes. Lately, I have been marking some of the freaky (but true) and interesting stories in the Bible....especially the ones that I think my boys will like. I thought I would put some of them here and give you a smile for the day.
Judges 15:15 "Finding a fresh jawbone of a donkey, he grabbed it and struck down a thousand men." How cool is that? First of all, how often does one find a "fresh jawbone of a donkey"? Secondly, was it so fresh that the muscle and flesh was still on it or was it just bone? Thirdly, really? He held it, swung it around, and killed 1000 men? Did he throw it like a boomerang or hold it?
Judges 4:21 "But Jael, Heber's wife, picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died." Cracks me up that the words, "and he died" had to be added....as if driving a tent peg into his brain so far that is went into the ground would do anything less! She is one fierce woman!
Judges 3:20-22 "Ehud then approached him while he was sitting alone in the upper room of his summer palace and said, "I have a message from God for you." As the king rose from his seat, Ehud reached with his left hand, drew the sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the king's belly. Even the handle sank in after the blade, which came out his back. Ehud did not pull the sword out, and the fat closed in over it." This is the coolest story! Really? This king is so fat the his fat swallows up the sword so that no one can see it from the front?!
Anyway....these are just some of the stories for today. I hope they bring a smile to your face and help you think of fun ways to share the Bible with your kids. They have all heard Jonah, Daniel and the lion's den, etc...most of them haven't heard these!
Judges 15:15 "Finding a fresh jawbone of a donkey, he grabbed it and struck down a thousand men." How cool is that? First of all, how often does one find a "fresh jawbone of a donkey"? Secondly, was it so fresh that the muscle and flesh was still on it or was it just bone? Thirdly, really? He held it, swung it around, and killed 1000 men? Did he throw it like a boomerang or hold it?
Judges 4:21 "But Jael, Heber's wife, picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died." Cracks me up that the words, "and he died" had to be added....as if driving a tent peg into his brain so far that is went into the ground would do anything less! She is one fierce woman!
Judges 3:20-22 "Ehud then approached him while he was sitting alone in the upper room of his summer palace and said, "I have a message from God for you." As the king rose from his seat, Ehud reached with his left hand, drew the sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the king's belly. Even the handle sank in after the blade, which came out his back. Ehud did not pull the sword out, and the fat closed in over it." This is the coolest story! Really? This king is so fat the his fat swallows up the sword so that no one can see it from the front?!
Anyway....these are just some of the stories for today. I hope they bring a smile to your face and help you think of fun ways to share the Bible with your kids. They have all heard Jonah, Daniel and the lion's den, etc...most of them haven't heard these!