Reconciliation!

Reconciliation is a beautiful thing.

When two people have been misconnecting...living separate lives while trying to get back...well, that's pretty painful and sad.

But when God, in a moment that could be seen as ordinary and even mundane, brings those same two folks together, and in that ordinary moment, creates an explosion that melds their hearts once again...well, that's miraculous!

Regret

Do you ever look back on your life and cringe a little with the regret you feel over certain things? I don't mean wallow in it...or live in it...but just a little, teeny peak with a feeling knowing that you wish you had done things differently?

I do...periodically. I have been thinking about things the last day or so and so many events come to mind for me. Strange things from weird times in my life. Some as far back as elementary school.

The way I made fun of how the new girl in my 2nd grade class spoke.

The lie I told to not get in trouble.

The friend who wrote and told me we were no longer friends because she felt I slighted her.

The kids I taught my first year of teaching...did they learn anything?

The way I have put my children, so many times, above my husband.

The eyes that no longer twinkle as they look at me for various decisions I have made.

I don't live amongst these thoughts and memories, but they do cause me to regret things I've done (or haven't done) over the years. Sadly, they aren't the only ones on the list and even more sad is that fact that I will regret things that haven't even happened yet.

How to Encourage a Loved One?

How do you go about encouraging someone? How would you make someone feel loved, cherished, accepted? When someone you love feels a bit beat up at work, how do you go about making him/her feel wonderful again?

These are my questions for tonight.

Jonah and Me

I am ashamed to admit that I was just like Jonah yesterday....not the good Jonah who eventually went and proclaimed the message God had for Ninevah...but the Jonah after the deed was done.

Let me explain:

I had to participate in a potentially difficult meeting yesterday. An incident had been brewing and it was time to have a chat with someone to attempt to correct the situation. The meeting went really well...much better than could have ever been anticipated! What a praise! What a great thing! Right?

Well...later in the day yesterday, I realized that I wasn't right emotionally. It took me a while to put my finger on the whole thing. But then it hit me!...I was mad that the meeting went so well. Apparently, deep down (okay..not so deep), I wanted a different result. I wanted this person to leave the group. I wanted this person to pay just a little (or a lot) for some of the trouble that I felt I suffered.

Wasn't that just what Jonah did after Ninevah responded positively to God's message? Shouldn't he have been thrilled that they realized the mistake they were making and stopped immediately and repented? I have always thought that his reaction was strange. Who would react the way he did?

Well...it was humbling, painful, and embarrassing to realize that I was responding just as Jonah did. I am grieved that I didn't immediately praise God for HIS faithfulness in this situation. It was a near miracle of Ninevah-sized proportions that the time was so very positive and instead of rejoicing, I chose to make it all about me...mope about...and then be a bit angry at God.

I hope I don't respond like that ever again! I am praying that this was a wake up call for me!

Interesting Day

We had an interesting day on April 9.


Our oldest turned 21! How exciting! She LOVES her birthdays, but this one naturally had a bigger expectation that went with it. We had been planning for quite a while. She had picked out her lunch place and then some of her good friends were taking her out to dinner. Her main party "function" was happening the next day as several of us went to a paint place in town and painted for three hours! It was so much fun. The interesting part was the morning of her birthday.


As we are getting ready to walk out the door to go to her lunch, we get a call that Ben's oldest brother had passed away. WOW! It was a real shock. He was only 7 years older than Ben. The blessing was that he died in his sleep. It was an apparent stroke. Though Ben's family is not the most close-knit family ever, it was difficult to not be sad, stunned, and introspective.


We went to lunch and celebrated with Bailey and then came home. Ben discovered that he was vascillating between being okay with the news and being much sadder than he ever anticipated being.


Interesting day to celebrate a birth and a death in the same family.

Haven In A Heartless World

I read a quote the other day from Christopher Lasch who once said that "Family is a haven in a heartless world." I love that...but I am changing it a bit.

HOME is a haven in a heartless world.

I want my family to view our home that way. The minute they walk through the door, I'd love to see a visible release of the stress, tension, and problems of the day. I want our home to be an almost magical place of grace, peace, love, acceptance, and the arms of Jesus waiting to envelope.

What is your home like? Do your children enjoy being out of it more than being in it? Do they do whatever they can to escape it or do they rush home to the haven that takes them as they are, but loves them enough to push them a bit?

I want my kids to love being here. I want my kids to come back even when they have moved out. And I want my kids to love it enough to be compelled to create their own haven for their future families.

Not Ordinary, But Extraordinary

Ben and I have this talk we have with our children who turn 13. It goes something like this: All the books and professionals say that now it is normal for you to rebel and become unfun to live with for several years, but it's not required and we don't do that. So far, that little talk has worked. Almost like they needed to know there really was another option out there for them to choose. I have decided that we need to bring a similar talk to the rest of our children. It goes something like this: The rest of the world is ordinary....they act unloving, unkind, rude, impolite, uncompassionate. But DeBusks are extraordinary...we are children of God...so act like the extraordinary people you are...be loving, kind, nice, polite, and compassionate!

What I Suck At!

My friend, Gregg Stutts, has a great blog (http://blog.greggstutts.com/) and has a fabulous post today! He makes a terrific point that we should believe what we know to be true about God, instead of what we see in our circumstances, but how hard that is for us as humans to do! I highly recommend you checking out his blog today. But reading his blog and watching the video he has posted, got me thinking about how well I believe God instead of what I can see. Bottom line is that I suck at that! I hate that I am horrible at that. I want to be better...so I am on a new mission to believe what I KNOW to be true! I have one area in particular in which God has allowed for just this purpose, I think. (I'm sure I have more than one, but there is DEFINITELY one area) What about you? What do you believe in?

Living the Undreamed Dream

My kids are always amazed when they find out something about me that they didn't know before. I guess I was like that with my folks too, but it amuses me nonetheless. I remember being so much younger and actually having dreams and thoughts of my own. Most of those have not come to pass, but it's ok.... My dreams in my younger years were for experiences that I wanted to have...things I wanted to do...all about me, basically. Dreams for achievement and accolades. Dreams for fun and frivolity. As I have gotten older, (dare I say "matured"), my dreams have turned a bit more outward focused. Dreams for others. Dreams for God and His glory. I could let myself get very defeated about this, if I chose to think that way. Yes, I had wanted to get my private pilot's license and never did....yes, I wanted to get my master's degree in educational administration...so many others. BUT...what was the point of those things? To make me happy? To bring me some sort of fulfillment? To bring security to my life? I have all those things already in the form of undreamed dreams! I have a fabulous husband...five great children...a beautiful home...a wonderful, quirky extended family...I get to stay at home and teach my own children and watch their eyes light up when they get it...I get to volunteer for things much greater than myself and make a difference... In short...I am living the dream! It's just a different dream than I used to have. But oh! so much better of a dream!

Held Hostage

We've all heard the saying: If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. I don't really like this saying, but I must say that in our house, it's the opposite: If Papa ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Ben is such a strong, central figure in our home that we do tend to hang on his moods. If he has had a great day, he comes home and it just shows all over his face...all over his actions with us. The opposite is just as true. I hate that we allow ourselves to be swayed by one person. I think it's a lot of pressure on Ben, too. I have a saying that I use on our 5 year old. He tends to like to manipulate us by using his emotions. I say to him, "We will not be held hostage by your emotions." (I know...sounds goofy to say that to a 5 yr old...but one day he will get it...and for now, he understands that we don't like what is happening.) I think I am going to use a version of that on myself from now on with Ben (or anyone else I might allow this from). "I will not hold myself hostage to your emotions." Just a thought...we'll see how it works in reality.

Not To Us, But To God...

So....this is my 500th blog post! WOW! God has blessed Ben and me so much with our children. We have had so many folks compliment us over the years about our oldest, Bailey. How mature, how polite, etc....And now we are getting compliments about our second, Darby. It is an honor to get these kind words, but I must say that God just plopped our kids into our home this way. We have hardly known what it's like to parent really. We are humbled. Why God has chosen to bless us in this way, I don't know. We love our kids, and it's quite a privilege to know that others love and appreciate them too! It's not to us, but to God be the glory.