Humility has never been my strength. I have always had too much pride, even when I really had no reason to be prideful.
Over the years, as I have gotten older, I have noticed that God is working on me in this area. I have been praying for HIM to help me without the lesson being too painful, and HE has generously answered that prayer.
But I must say that the latest situation HE has put me in is the hardest so far. I am taking karate alongside Rawley, our 5 year old. Twice a week, he and I go to class. We start class together and then quickly after, we are taken away with some of the more advanced students to learn the basics. Rawley and I are not together in this process. Some of the more advanced students who help me are 9 years old! They walk by me and tell me, nicely, that my belt is tied incorrectly. I humbly untie my belt and tie it correctly and then say thank you. ouch! Then, as I am fumbling through the basic moves, I have another youngster repositioning my fist, telling me to straighten my back leg, to stop scooping my hand, etc... Each time, I look him in the eye and say thank you, and try again.
I have never been in this position and it's an interesting place to be. But I know that God has placed me here for a reason and, not only will I eventually get better at karate, I will also get even better at humility and showing grace in difficult situations.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Ugly Things I Have Learned About Myself
I've learned a lot about myself in the last days. Most of it not so great. I've learned that I am a bit mopey when I am not happy about something or don't get my way. I've learned that I use silence to attempt to hold power over people (that I learned from my parents growing up). I've learned that I am excessively self absorbed and selfish and tend to turn things going on with others into something about me.
Why am I like that? I don't like any of those traits when I see them in others...so why do I somehow think they are acceptable in myself?
I don't have the answers, but I am now much more cognizant of the problem and will be working on it! I want to model much better behavior for my children. I want to be much more pleasant to my husband (and others). I want to be a much better representative of Christ to the world!
Why am I like that? I don't like any of those traits when I see them in others...so why do I somehow think they are acceptable in myself?
I don't have the answers, but I am now much more cognizant of the problem and will be working on it! I want to model much better behavior for my children. I want to be much more pleasant to my husband (and others). I want to be a much better representative of Christ to the world!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Ready To Face The World
We have tried over the years to expose our children to things of the world when they are the right age to handle it. We aren't always successful...but we have tried. Not to hide them from the world or isolate them forever...but to truly give them worldly truths when they are able to deal with it in an age-appropriate manner.
This week, our oldest has now been exposed to the reality of insurance, car wrecks, police reports, etc. She was involved in an accident that was not her fault. But, boy!, is she feeling the effects of the poor decision on the other driver's part.
Our daughter had a car, though not her uber favorite, was in excellent condition, ran well, not a junker, worked perfectly for her purposes! The insurance company has now deemed her car a total loss as it would cost more to fix it than it is worth. That is the problem....the harsh reality she is now ready for...the exposure we would have hidden from her earlier. She was sucked into another's sin and she is going to have to come up with the extra to find a new car.
Frustrating though it is, she is now ready for this and, I must say, is handling it beautifully! I am proud of her reactions and how she is dealing with all of this. Just like we don't expect babies to begin reading because we know that they aren't ready for it, we also should be careful of what we expose our kids to early because they just might not be ready for it.
This week, our oldest has now been exposed to the reality of insurance, car wrecks, police reports, etc. She was involved in an accident that was not her fault. But, boy!, is she feeling the effects of the poor decision on the other driver's part.
Our daughter had a car, though not her uber favorite, was in excellent condition, ran well, not a junker, worked perfectly for her purposes! The insurance company has now deemed her car a total loss as it would cost more to fix it than it is worth. That is the problem....the harsh reality she is now ready for...the exposure we would have hidden from her earlier. She was sucked into another's sin and she is going to have to come up with the extra to find a new car.
Frustrating though it is, she is now ready for this and, I must say, is handling it beautifully! I am proud of her reactions and how she is dealing with all of this. Just like we don't expect babies to begin reading because we know that they aren't ready for it, we also should be careful of what we expose our kids to early because they just might not be ready for it.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Generosity
I love being generous! Though being given gifts is not necessarily my top love language (but I do love a good gift!), I LOVE giving gifts! It brings me joy beyond all else.
Even as a little girl, I would tape quarters in handwritten notes to my mom. :)
Though we don't live on much, financially, God has always allowed us to be able to give to others. I am thrilled that my husband has the same view on giving as I do!
Yesterday, my husband had the opportunity to speak with someone about their financial situation. He had the ability to say, "I'll pray about that for you." or to give lots of ideas on how this person could help themselves. Though he did all of the above, it also dawned on him that we could help out also! We had the ability to do that for him. Why wouldn't we do that?
Josh McDowell once spoke about a time when he was speaking with someone who needed a car desperately. Josh said that he would pray about that and hoped that the Lord would answer with the provision of a car. When Josh got home, it dawned on him that he didn't even need to pray about that! He and his wife had a car that they didn't use and could easily give the person who needed one. God had already provided!
That's how Ben and I feel so often. We don't even need to pray about something that it is within our means and ability to provide! God has blessed us so often over the years in allowing us to be the ones to provided for others' needs!
How about you? What are you "praying" about that could already be answered through you?
Even as a little girl, I would tape quarters in handwritten notes to my mom. :)
Though we don't live on much, financially, God has always allowed us to be able to give to others. I am thrilled that my husband has the same view on giving as I do!
Yesterday, my husband had the opportunity to speak with someone about their financial situation. He had the ability to say, "I'll pray about that for you." or to give lots of ideas on how this person could help themselves. Though he did all of the above, it also dawned on him that we could help out also! We had the ability to do that for him. Why wouldn't we do that?
Josh McDowell once spoke about a time when he was speaking with someone who needed a car desperately. Josh said that he would pray about that and hoped that the Lord would answer with the provision of a car. When Josh got home, it dawned on him that he didn't even need to pray about that! He and his wife had a car that they didn't use and could easily give the person who needed one. God had already provided!
That's how Ben and I feel so often. We don't even need to pray about something that it is within our means and ability to provide! God has blessed us so often over the years in allowing us to be the ones to provided for others' needs!
How about you? What are you "praying" about that could already be answered through you?
Monday, August 22, 2011
Ideas Anyone?
I heard a statement at a function I went to the other day that I have been noodling on.
Information without application is abortion.
It is, on the surface, an inflammatory statement, to be sure. But the more I ponder it, the more I agree with it.
When you receive information, and you don't apply the information you receive, it's like not letting the information come to it's full potential.
Still noodling on it. Ideas?
Friday, August 19, 2011
New Normal
Daddy is now living in a memory wing of a nursing home. His room is warm and inviting. He looks terrific. The food is fabulous. There are only six residents currently....and can only be eight total when the rooms are all full.
But it's still not right! Oh! Don't get me wrong. This was the best decision for Daddy and for Mom. She needed rest! Mom was wearing herself out and that wasn't acceptable. But it's still not right.
Years ago, when we were thinking of what life would be like when my parents hit their mid-70's, this was not the "normal" we were thinking of. We didn't contemplate the fact that Daddy would have Alzheimer's and have to live somewhere else. We didn't anticipate having to visit Mom in her home and Daddy in his "home".
So...our idea of "normal" has had to change. It has been a difficult time mentally, for my children and for me. We visit Daddy, and though in general, we don't cry when we leave anymore, we leave with a heavy heart.
Oh, for the day when Daddy gets a new mind and body and is at peace worshipping Jesus! These are the days I am most frustrated with the Adam/Eve saga!
But it's still not right! Oh! Don't get me wrong. This was the best decision for Daddy and for Mom. She needed rest! Mom was wearing herself out and that wasn't acceptable. But it's still not right.
Years ago, when we were thinking of what life would be like when my parents hit their mid-70's, this was not the "normal" we were thinking of. We didn't contemplate the fact that Daddy would have Alzheimer's and have to live somewhere else. We didn't anticipate having to visit Mom in her home and Daddy in his "home".
So...our idea of "normal" has had to change. It has been a difficult time mentally, for my children and for me. We visit Daddy, and though in general, we don't cry when we leave anymore, we leave with a heavy heart.
Oh, for the day when Daddy gets a new mind and body and is at peace worshipping Jesus! These are the days I am most frustrated with the Adam/Eve saga!
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