Darby took this pic of the three littlest ones. I love these kids very much. I love the photographer. And I love the one who isn't in this pic! Fun summer picture.Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Summer Time
Darby took this pic of the three littlest ones. I love these kids very much. I love the photographer. And I love the one who isn't in this pic! Fun summer picture.
Monday, May 16, 2011
To Remember....
Daddy has Alzheimer's.
He is slipping away, mentally, right before my eyes.
The other day, I was sitting with him while my mom was taken out by a friend for her birthday. When I sit with Daddy, I always ask questions about his past and love to hear the fun stories he tells. This time it was different. He didn't know who I was.
Now, I know that that is the way with Alzheimer's! I get it! But up to this point, he might not have known others, but has always known me.
It was quite a shock that rocked me to my core. I don't know why it was so horrific for me....he goes in and out of knowing my mom (his wife for 51 years) and my brother...but I guess since he had always known me, I allowed myself to live under the delusion that he would always know me.
Not to be the case.
I realize that I have allowed myself this little delusionary fantasy before. For instance, since I have worn glasses since 2nd grade, for some reason I thought that I would never have bi-focals! I know....why would one preclude the other? But you see where my mind lives! :)
Yesterday, at church, he knew me by name again. What a blessing for me! I will treasure those moments from now on in a different way than before.
I love Daddy so very much!
He is slipping away, mentally, right before my eyes.
The other day, I was sitting with him while my mom was taken out by a friend for her birthday. When I sit with Daddy, I always ask questions about his past and love to hear the fun stories he tells. This time it was different. He didn't know who I was.
Now, I know that that is the way with Alzheimer's! I get it! But up to this point, he might not have known others, but has always known me.
It was quite a shock that rocked me to my core. I don't know why it was so horrific for me....he goes in and out of knowing my mom (his wife for 51 years) and my brother...but I guess since he had always known me, I allowed myself to live under the delusion that he would always know me.
Not to be the case.
I realize that I have allowed myself this little delusionary fantasy before. For instance, since I have worn glasses since 2nd grade, for some reason I thought that I would never have bi-focals! I know....why would one preclude the other? But you see where my mind lives! :)
Yesterday, at church, he knew me by name again. What a blessing for me! I will treasure those moments from now on in a different way than before.
I love Daddy so very much!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Tale of Two Cities
After having spent a week in Little Rock, the kids and I are back home. Lovely to be home. Lovely to be in Little Rock. I always feel so very loved when I am in Little Rock. I always feel so very loved when I am back home.
How is that?
God has provided two very different places that are both my homes! Each place has special people...near and dear to my heart folks.
I am truly blessed!
How is that?
God has provided two very different places that are both my homes! Each place has special people...near and dear to my heart folks.
I am truly blessed!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Emotions! Ugh!
I am an emotional gal. I have always been an emotional gal. And I can only assume that I will always be an emtional gal.
I hate it!
I was able to meet with two sweet gals yesterday. They are gals who were in our Sunday School class in Little Rock....I love them dearly. We were talking about homeschooling and our lives and our children....and our husbands. It was just regular conversation. Nothing spectacular. Nothing earth-shattering.
So after a terrific time of chatting, catching up, and seeing babies I hadn't met yet, what do I do?
I cry! All the way home, I cried! Ridiculous...yet, there was something in that mundane, everyday conversation that made me miss them so much. Made me miss the relationship we had when we saw each other at least weekly.
I am emotional and I hate it!
I hate it!
I was able to meet with two sweet gals yesterday. They are gals who were in our Sunday School class in Little Rock....I love them dearly. We were talking about homeschooling and our lives and our children....and our husbands. It was just regular conversation. Nothing spectacular. Nothing earth-shattering.
So after a terrific time of chatting, catching up, and seeing babies I hadn't met yet, what do I do?
I cry! All the way home, I cried! Ridiculous...yet, there was something in that mundane, everyday conversation that made me miss them so much. Made me miss the relationship we had when we saw each other at least weekly.
I am emotional and I hate it!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Reconciliation!
Reconciliation is a beautiful thing.
When two people have been misconnecting...living separate lives while trying to get back...well, that's pretty painful and sad.
But when God, in a moment that could be seen as ordinary and even mundane, brings those same two folks together, and in that ordinary moment, creates an explosion that melds their hearts once again...well, that's miraculous!
When two people have been misconnecting...living separate lives while trying to get back...well, that's pretty painful and sad.
But when God, in a moment that could be seen as ordinary and even mundane, brings those same two folks together, and in that ordinary moment, creates an explosion that melds their hearts once again...well, that's miraculous!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Regret
Do you ever look back on your life and cringe a little with the regret you feel over certain things? I don't mean wallow in it...or live in it...but just a little, teeny peak with a feeling knowing that you wish you had done things differently?
I do...periodically. I have been thinking about things the last day or so and so many events come to mind for me. Strange things from weird times in my life. Some as far back as elementary school.
The way I made fun of how the new girl in my 2nd grade class spoke.
The lie I told to not get in trouble.
The friend who wrote and told me we were no longer friends because she felt I slighted her.
The kids I taught my first year of teaching...did they learn anything?
The way I have put my children, so many times, above my husband.
The eyes that no longer twinkle as they look at me for various decisions I have made.
I don't live amongst these thoughts and memories, but they do cause me to regret things I've done (or haven't done) over the years. Sadly, they aren't the only ones on the list and even more sad is that fact that I will regret things that haven't even happened yet.
I do...periodically. I have been thinking about things the last day or so and so many events come to mind for me. Strange things from weird times in my life. Some as far back as elementary school.
The way I made fun of how the new girl in my 2nd grade class spoke.
The lie I told to not get in trouble.
The friend who wrote and told me we were no longer friends because she felt I slighted her.
The kids I taught my first year of teaching...did they learn anything?
The way I have put my children, so many times, above my husband.
The eyes that no longer twinkle as they look at me for various decisions I have made.
I don't live amongst these thoughts and memories, but they do cause me to regret things I've done (or haven't done) over the years. Sadly, they aren't the only ones on the list and even more sad is that fact that I will regret things that haven't even happened yet.
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