It's Working!

I have tried to adopt this new attitude about events happening around me....kind of a "whatever it is, it's ok" kind of attitude. It's all part of the living-with-my-hands-open philosophy/theology. Most things in my life are not life or death and I am trying to put them in the correct category and react accordingly.

I often wonder if I am failing miserably at this! It's my natural instinct to raise the importance of things to an insane level for my reaction.

BUT!...just yesterday, as I was telling someone about a decision that had been made by someone else (that effects something I'm involved in), my friend said, "Lisa, isn't this bothering you at all?" I had to giggle inside knowing that, while the decision did bother me, I wasn't showing it on the outside! Success! ;)

God IS working within me....and I couldn't be happier!!

Mama Bear...Again.

It's been a while since my 'mama bear' instincts have shown up....but here they are again. What do you do when someone is not nice to your baby? (and by 'baby'...I could be referring to any of my kids)

I fully recognize that my kids aren't angels! They are not perfect. I know these things all too well. But this particular one is especially sweet and wonderful.

So...I will cope the way I always do when this happens. This time doesn't require my stepping in....YET! But I will step in when needed. I will keep a close eye on the situation. I am sure it will blow over soon.

But until then, I have one child who is a bit down and saddened and I will be there to do the cheering up...ice cream might be in order! :)

Mentoring

A very, very sweet gal I know and dearly love asked me several months ago, if I would be her mentor. Is anyone ever ready to be that in someone's life? I couldn't be more honored....it means many things to me....

But I feel inadequate. Each time we meet, I feel as though I have failed to do or say something to her. It is a growth experience for me.

Odd....humbling....honoring....

So, I keep at it....keep meeting with her...keep praying for her...keep opening myself so that maybe she can learn from my mistakes (that's a lifetime of learning right there!)....keeping the faith that God has a plan in this relationship.

I will stay in it until God calls me elsewhere.....but I don't think it will ever be a natural thing for me.

Headache

I had a headache for two days! How does one get a two-day-long headache? I don't really know, but I am now also nauseous due to the amount of medication I have been taking to try to rid myself of this monstrosity. I have also discovered that my ears are ringing....probably due to the large amounts of medicine I have been taking to rid myself of this monstrosity!

So...now that the headache is gone, why am I so tentative? I feel as though my head is tender and that the pain could come back at any moment.

I think this is also the phenomenon that happens to me once I have made some grievous error and then gotten forgiveness. I am tentative and scared to do anything for fear of doing the same thing again.

Frustrating! But certainly something to work on! :)

How Good It Is!

How refreshing it is to be able to speak to a friend about matters I might normally wouldn't speak about.

How lovely it is for that friend to be the initiator of the conversation and notice the need/desire for me to chat a bit.

How encouraging it is that God has provided me with a few special people who care.

How humbling it is to know that I am on God's radar and that HE cares for even the smallest need.

I am one blessed woman, indeed....and S.M., you are one big blesser! What a friend you are! Thank you.

Rawley Turns 5!!

Our youngest, Rawley, turns 5 today! What a surprise he was initially and a surprise he continues to be!

Rawley as a newborn.

Rawley at 6 months.

Rawley at 14 months.

Rawley more recently at 4.

Rawley being goofy at school.
Rawley this morning!
Happy birthday, Rawley.
We love you!

Our Zoo?!

We don't have animals. Not that we haven't tried having animals. We have had gerbils, fish, birds, and dogs. And while the idea of them is quite appealing, the reality of them makes me want to go over the edge.

I grew up with dogs. But once we got a dog, I realized that my mother had done all of the training and that I was horrible at it...but wanted it done...NOW!

Cats and clowns share the same space in my heart....spooky! They completely creep me out. They are mini-lions and always eye my toes as though they are sick gazelles ready to be taken out!

Gerbils, hamsters, and rodents have those darned sharp teeth that they enjoy stabbing right into my fingers. They also are nocturnal...those crazy wheels make a lot of noise at night!

Rabbits are fine, but what do you do with them? They are extremely sensitive to the weather...which in our area is bad! It gets amazingly hot around here.

So...it's interesting that I am looking out my back doors into our backyard, and I see a cat just waking up on a chair on my porch. I just saw a dog run through my yard (don't we have a fence?). We have a rabbit living under our porch. And two days ago, we discovered that a mouse has been living in our garage!

Really?! Didn't I say that the reality of animals makes me want to go over the edge?

My Bro

Family is a funny thing. There are these people you live with....when you are little, they are people not of your choosing at all. Later, they are folks of your choosing (or making). Both ways, you have good days (so glad that they are yours!) and bad days (extra! extra! free family member!) Interesting though, I think.

I grew up with a fabulous family. But as I have gotten older, I have realized just how different I was in that group of folks. :) I would probably have searched for adoption papers if I didn't look almost exactly like my brother, who in turn, looks exactly like my mother!

My brother and I got along famously. Better than any other siblings I ever knew as a kid. I liked my brother and he genuinely liked me. What a blessing!

But honestly, would we have been friends if we weren't family? Who knows? Who cares really at this point...but I think that's how God works. He puts people together...calls them family...and then uses that relationship to make us more like Christ. We are family, no matter what!

Through the years, my brother and I have had our ups and downs in our relationship. I have always loved him and I know that he has always loved me too....but we might not have always liked each other. I can honestly say, that now, at this point in our lives, we really like each other again. What a blessing! He makes me laugh! He reminds me that he cares about me! I am proud to count him among my friends.

Resolved, Once Again

I am finding that I am allowing circumstances around me to dictate my moods lately. I hate when I do that. This time, I seem to be recognizing it earlier than I normally do, and I am nipping it in the bud instead of letting it get to full bloom.

There is a buzz around that something that I am really involved in and dearly love is going to be stopped.

I am trying to view this situation as I am most others in my life....living with my hands open. It might be that God has something else in mind, or somewhere else for this event to happen each week, and HE is removing it. It might be that HE is doing nothing with it, and I am being tested with my faith and my responses to things. Or it might be that the "in charge" folks don't understand this thing and are just wanting to scrub the whole thing.

So...not only has God reminded me of my desire to live with my hands open, but has also reminded me of: "Be anxious for nothing. But in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Phil. 4:6

and...

"....do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt. 6:34

So, I resolve to keep my focus on JESUS and not on world events, knowing that the God who created the universe and also cares about the littlest details also cares about this thing too.

He Cares!

It makes me laugh to see how much God cares about such mundane, little, goofy things on which I place great importance!

Today began our homeschool co-op. There are over 100 families totaling right at 400 folks who come each week. The first week can be crazy! Fires to put out....issues to take care of....questions to answer....complaints to resolve....hugs to give....smiles to pass out....lots of great and not-so-great things can happen.

We had had computer issues this semester that we hadn't had before, so I was expecting some pretty big fires. I had tried to warn the membership, so that they were aware walking in the door that everything wasn't going to be perfectly smooth. I was right...there were fires.

But....everyone was so gracious! You could tell that God had gone before and even made this day...unimportant in the grand scheme of things....wonderful!

What a joy to know that the God of the universe....creator of all things....Savior of the world...cares about our homeschool co-op. Cares about my desire to make this a great day of the week for all of our members. Cares about our littlest concerns.

I am truly blessed!

Failed Already

So....just a few short hours ago I wrote a post about thinking "Lord, make this a place of peace." wherever I go and whatever I do.

Fast forward just a few hours....how I have failed to do this already!!!!

I just got off of a phone call where I completely lost it. I lost my temper. I raised my voice. The person to whom I was speaking was not passing harmlessly through my mind. (refer back to older post)

So...I begin again! Anew. Afresh. Aware of my failings. Ashamed of my weakness.

As I leave my home in a few minutes: "Lord, make this a place of peace."

Place of Peace

I'm reading a book right now where the main character says this frequently:

"Lord, make this a place of peace."

I really like that! I am trying to incorporate that into my thought whenever I go anywhere.

So:

When I wake up in the morning, "Lord, make this a place of peace."

When I head to church, "Lord, make this a place of peace."

When I go to a friend's home, "Lord, make this a place of peace."

When I go to Target, "Lord, make this a place of peace."

I hope when you read this blog you find it a place of peace.

Encouragement

Funny how God works, isn't it? I had just posted today about someone being a great encouragement to me and not but a few hours later, I was able to be an encouragement to another gal!

I love that!

Who has encouraged you today? Who have you encouraged today? Ideally, there should be a name for each question that you can answer! That's the way life in community works.

Sweet Words From a Friend

How do you place a value on the encouragement of a friend? What price would you put on someone stepping out of their busy life for one moment just for you? To lift you up and speak words of love over you?

Well....that just happened to me! And it's priceless!

After reading some of my recent blog postings, a friend took time out of her incredibly busy day to ask me how things are going....to say that she'd been thinking about me....to encourage me to keep up the faith and to keep going.

I'd say she completely fulfilled the admonition in Ephesians 4:29:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building other up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Thanks, friend....you know who you are! But you don't know much you mean to me and how much I value you!

Gifts, Talents, and Abilities

This Friday begins our homeschool co-op for spring. This is no small 3-family co-op....our co-op has over 100 families and there are 400 people on our church campus each Friday! It is a large endeavor!

I am the director of this machine....and I LOVE IT!!! This position fits my gifts, talents, and abilities....and certainly falls right in line with my passion...homeschooling and helping to encourage others who want to homeschool.

Yes, there are frustrating days....Yes, there are days that it crosses my mind to drop this off my schedule...Yes, I want to keep doing to even with that!

What I have discovered and have been reminded time and time again, is that God has given me certain abilities and it's OK to work within those. It's not more spiritual for me to be miserable, necessarily. It's that I am to be wherever God has called and when I do that, I am not going to be completely frustrated always...I am not going to be completely miserable...I am not going to feel as though it's drudgery all days. I am going to feel more encouraged and uplifted by working within my abilities.

What are your abilities, gifts, and talents? Are you working there?

Pride

I have a lot of flaws! But I have been working on one in particular over the last several days....pride! My pride manifests itself in thinking that I have to do everything myself...and that I am the only one who can do it correctly.

Now...I HAVE had many times of being encouraged to think that as I have delegated things to be done and they haven't been done...

BUT...that having been said, I have been very guilty of taking on too much and leaving co-laborers feeling inadequate and unnecessary. I haven't asked for help or tried to find out areas in which my fellow workers are gifted.

The Lord has convicted me of this and I am actively working on it. The initial results have been super positive! Those who work with me seem to be happier....seem to feel as though they are valued and needed....! Once again, God is working in me!!!!

Faith of a Child

Two boys were in the living room while I was in another room the other day. I begin to overhear a conversation and it went something like this:

Rawley (age 4): Rainey, why did God make the world?
Rainey (age 7): So that he would be friends with all the people. But he doesn't make you be friends with him, but he would love it very much if you did. We need to be friends with God so that we go to Heaven one day. Well, we don't need God, we could become like God IF we did everything perfect all the time and never messed up. But we can't do that. We keep getting tempted to do the wrong thing and we all end up doing the wrong thing. So we need God.

Isn't this the stuff that theologians debate ad nauseum? Isn't this the stuff in which folks get the most detailed degrees in seminary? Isn't this the stuff that fill books ad infinitum? Seems to me like a 7 year old cut through it pretty quickly!

It made me smile because when you teach something to others you really come to master the material even more....Rainey was teaching Rawley. It made me smile because it means that Rainey has heard that information more than once and I can tell you he's never heard it just like that....so he was able to compile the info and come up with his own version. It made me smile because it means the God has got HIS hands on Rainey!

Over My Head

Do you ever feel over your head? I am feeling like that right now. A bit in a quandry as to what to do. I am seeking the Lord and am waiting for His answer. So that tells me that I need to wait where I am....but boy, do I feel out of my element!

So until I hear clearly from God, I will remain where I am and try to keep my head above the waterline!

Passing Harmlessly

My father in law once gave me a great rule of thumb for determining whether I had truly forgiven someone and had moved on. It goes like this:

When you think of whoever it is who has once offended you, does he pass harmlessly through your mind?

I didn't think much of this little ditty at first, but I have come to love it! I use it often as an indicator as to how I am really doing in my relationships.

I have a tendency to get offended pretty easily (a trait I am working on diligently). I am very loyal to my friends, which means that anyone who hurts a friend has also hurt me (I know....not the right way to be...again working on it). Once someone has offended or hurt me, I kind of keep that person on my "bad" list for ever....( I KNOW! Not the right thing again!)

But when my father in law gave me this little trick, I started thinking about individual people and surprisingly there were few people who did not go through my mind harmlessly. There were a couple, though. I began committing those folks to prayer and as I would periodically test myself, I would find that they began to pass through harmlessly! God had been doing a work in me!

I have now discovered, not that I don't get offended or hurt, but that I work on it quickly to get them to pass harmlessly. It certainly has made my life easier!

Living With My Hands Open

I'm not big on resolutions. When I need to start something, I just usually do it whenever I need to....I try to do the same with stopping something (but doesn't always work as easily, does it?). This year is no different really....except that I want to consciously continue something that God has started within me just recently....

Living with my hands open.

I want to praise God just as much when He chooses to take something away as I do when He adds something.

I want to not have knots in my stomach when something I think of as bad happens.

I want to not get upset when someone else makes what I would think of a bad decision.

I want to not be so emotional about things.

So....living with my hands open...that's my goal.....IF I did goals, that is! :)