Ever feel like the biggest failure? I have and I do!!..... Oh, I am sure this is a momentary, passing thing, but it's a place I don't enjoy being.
Actually, something was said to me a couple of years ago, and I am having a hard time letting it go. I might be having a hard time because it was said by someone I love very much.....the comment was probably the deepest truth from the person, so hard for this person to just say, "oops, I didn't really mean that, I was just mad."....the comment hit me at the deepest level any comment could hit me.
This comment has actually made me rethink many things. It's made me harder.....I am a very emotional person, and I feel lately as though I am done...Done with emotions. Done with crying. Done with extreme ends of the emotional spectrum. A little sad, I think, but then again, maybe this is how the rest of the world normally is.
I have rethought my relationship with my children. My husband. My thoughts on other people. I have realized that I am not super excited for anyone to get married. I am really not thrilled anymore when others have babies.
I don't like seeing anything romantic on tv shows or movies. It just doesn't seem interesting anymore to see if the girl gets the guy.
I am having a hard time with understanding all of this. But I DO know that God is still there, still loving me, still caring about me. HE will do something in me through all of this; and I desperately want HIM to do something through me to help others in all of this.