I have failed spiritually lately. I hate that! It's easy, I guess, for me to think that I have progressed and matured when things are good...but oh! the test of trials and difficulties...even minor ones.
I am weak.
Start with a few things on my plate. Add Ben's stress from seminary. Throw in a dash of daddy not doing well and being in the hospital. Toss that with some big decisions about daddy and some long term care. Sprinkle that with concern over mom and her health and mental well-being. Include a pinch of new-again potty issues and a healthy dose of night time potty issues. Top it all off with the normal things of life: laundry, meals, cleaning, grocery shopping.
Now, if I put all that in a pot of Bible study, prayer, meditation and contemplation, listening, I'd have one fabulous dish of seeing God's will...exuding His peace and presence.
BUT...do what I do and throw all the above in a pressure cooker, place the lid on, and turn the heat up doing it all my own way, and you get a weak, faithless, waif!
Not a delicious, tempting meal by any means. I am now doing what any trying-to-be-a-good-chef would do: stop the madness! Throw out the garbage that has been boiling and begin again....same starter recipe but with all the difference this time: JESUS!