We are headed to a wedding today. The daughter of old friends of ours is getting married. She is the same age as our oldest and the girls have been friends since they were about 5. It is an exciting day, indeed!
But, for me, it's also a sad day. I made mistakes early on after our children began arriving where I put them ahead of Ben...their needs, their wants....were always more important than his were. Ben made a comment to me a couple of years ago where he said that our wedding day was the last time he remembers me looking at him as though he hung the moon. I am so sorry that I ever did anything to make him feel that way. I can't even begin to express my regret.
So when we go to a wedding now, or when I even think about my children getting married, I remember that comment and wish to shout at them, "Don't do what I did! Don't ever lose that look in your eyes! You can never erase the pain it will cause."
I am thrilled for our friends and their daughter....but I am also sad and will be all day as I silently scream at her to learn from my mistakes.