I have been on a journey the last many years to become a better wife...oh, better for Ben, but really more looking past Ben to see God and trying to be what He wants me to be.
I find that I do well for a couple of days and then just crash...foul up...do something opposite of what I am desiring to do...It occurred to me the other day that this was the cycle of someone doing something impossible in his own strength! I can pull off being the perfect wife (or fill in whatever you choose) for a small while, but then my own sin nature...the fancy way of saying "hey! what about me and my needs? who is taking care of those while I deny myself to serve you?"...so my own sin nature pounces upon me one day and I all the ground I have covered has been lost and I am back to square one.
God has been working on me lately, through many means, to just focus on Him. Leave Ben out of it....look over Ben's shoulder and just stare into the face of God and do what I do for Him, not for Ben. Obey God and His desire for me and my well-being. Love God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, and with all my strength...not Ben, but God. By doing that, I am slowly discovering that Ben is the primary beneficiary of the overflow of my heart! I end up showing him love by showing him respect...it becomes easier and easier as I focus my attention, love, desires upon God and not the people around me...the funny thing is that they all end up feeling more doted upon, more loved, more cared for...crazy huh?
Monday, June 8, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Our Family Date
Ben surprised the fam today and took us all to see Night at the Museum 2! It was fabulous! I think I loved it even more than the first one...which is really surprising. We had a great time! Thanks Ben...I love you.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
One Proud Mama
I have been in awe of God lately! OK...not that I am not in awe of Him everyday, but this is different...
Most of you know that Bailey is raising support to go to serve as a missionary teaching ESL classes in Udine, Italy for three months in the fall (I did say MONTHS, not WEEKS!). I am so proud of her for hearing God's call and making herself available to it. But as a mom, I must say that it is amazing to see her begin her life heeding God's voice and hearing her respond with "here I am, send me!"
But God has only begun working! She sent out letters a week ago and God has already given Bailey 16% of her needed amount of money! Daily as she opens the mail, we stand with out mouths wide open, tears in our eyes (ok...maybe that's just my eyes, but they are so blurry that it looks like everyone's eyes are moist...), and our praises going out and up to the One who is orchestrating the whole thing!
As believers, we all long for our children to hear His voice and follow immediately. We desire for those we love to live out their faith. Heck, we desire to live out our faith ourselves! But to see your child take that stand, grab onto the hand of God and say "take me where you want me to go"...makes me have my mouth wide open, tears in my eyes, and praising the One who gave her to me and to whom I am giving back for His glory!
I will keep you posted on how God is continuing to bless Bailey! I am a proud mama, and I am pretty sure that this pride is not sinful... :) And, by the way, if you'd like to help her spread the Gospel of Christ to the dead in Italy, then let me know and we can help you be a part of that.
Most of you know that Bailey is raising support to go to serve as a missionary teaching ESL classes in Udine, Italy for three months in the fall (I did say MONTHS, not WEEKS!). I am so proud of her for hearing God's call and making herself available to it. But as a mom, I must say that it is amazing to see her begin her life heeding God's voice and hearing her respond with "here I am, send me!"
But God has only begun working! She sent out letters a week ago and God has already given Bailey 16% of her needed amount of money! Daily as she opens the mail, we stand with out mouths wide open, tears in our eyes (ok...maybe that's just my eyes, but they are so blurry that it looks like everyone's eyes are moist...), and our praises going out and up to the One who is orchestrating the whole thing!
As believers, we all long for our children to hear His voice and follow immediately. We desire for those we love to live out their faith. Heck, we desire to live out our faith ourselves! But to see your child take that stand, grab onto the hand of God and say "take me where you want me to go"...makes me have my mouth wide open, tears in my eyes, and praising the One who gave her to me and to whom I am giving back for His glory!
I will keep you posted on how God is continuing to bless Bailey! I am a proud mama, and I am pretty sure that this pride is not sinful... :) And, by the way, if you'd like to help her spread the Gospel of Christ to the dead in Italy, then let me know and we can help you be a part of that.
Ramblings....
When will Rawley ever become potty trained?
Is there a hint of truth in all forms of teasing?
Why am I so loud?
Why does God choose to bless me so much?
When can I stop buying diapers and pull-ups?
When will my daughter learn to really clean a bathroom?
When will that same daughter learn to really wash a dish?
Why does my weight bother me so much, but I don't do anything about it?
How weird is it that all my kids like hard-boiled eggs?
Just my ramblings for the day!
Is there a hint of truth in all forms of teasing?
Why am I so loud?
Why does God choose to bless me so much?
When can I stop buying diapers and pull-ups?
When will my daughter learn to really clean a bathroom?
When will that same daughter learn to really wash a dish?
Why does my weight bother me so much, but I don't do anything about it?
How weird is it that all my kids like hard-boiled eggs?
Just my ramblings for the day!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
No Boy at All!
I was humbled as a parent the other day...and I am sure it won't be the last time.
My two boys, along with another boy, pretty much trashed a couple of rooms in our church during a church dinner! I can't explain why they did that, except it's the personification of the saying my father-in-law apparently always said (Ben has been quoting it forever!):
My two boys, along with another boy, pretty much trashed a couple of rooms in our church during a church dinner! I can't explain why they did that, except it's the personification of the saying my father-in-law apparently always said (Ben has been quoting it forever!):
One boy is a whole boy.
Two boys is half a boy.
Three boys is no boy at all.
These three were the exact embodiment of this saying! They stopped being boys and became quite animalistic! It was completely stunning, dismaying, and very disappointing!
Each boy had to do letters of apology and others apologies to various people as well as helping to clean up and other punishments.
Years from now, this will be funny and bring a smile to my face...it's actually almost there now...and I can see that this won't be the last time the boys have dilemmas such as this. Ben and I have prayed for our children to get caught early doing anything...this was actually an answer to prayer to discover them and their sin natures early! If this is the worst thing they do...I will be the most blessed among women with her children!
Those two boys are the ones to keep adding the ever-increasing grey hairs on my head! I am wild about them though!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Finally...Growth!
I love when I see spiritual growth in myself! Yesterday was just the day for God to show me that I have grown just a smidge...I think He puts these little tests in front of me to see how I am doing...honestly, most of the time I fail...but not yesterday!
I used to LOVE gossip! I really mean LOVE it! I was the person who knew everything that was going on...people would come to me to find out what was happening. (It's a power thing, I think) It's one of the reasons that God has taken me out of the workforce.
Our church is going through some sad days lately. I know that God is involved in it and is working on all of us through this. Yesterday I heard many of the issues that were brewing, which I hadn't known before. Because many of these situations have happened to people I know, I would normally have taken up their cause (have I told you that I am fiercely loyal and take up my friends' burdens!) and jumped into the chasm of yuckiness becoming a huge part of the problem. Well...my friend, I saw growth when I heard these issues and then recognized right away that I was entering into sin by joining in the gossip, and asked not to be told if other situations arise! I realized that I didn't even feel anything about it! I have only had good interactions with the main person involved and didn't want to have any other thoughts about this person!
What? Did I hear myself correctly? I knew right away that God was at work in me! He tested me and this time, I passed! Praise God!
I used to LOVE gossip! I really mean LOVE it! I was the person who knew everything that was going on...people would come to me to find out what was happening. (It's a power thing, I think) It's one of the reasons that God has taken me out of the workforce.
Our church is going through some sad days lately. I know that God is involved in it and is working on all of us through this. Yesterday I heard many of the issues that were brewing, which I hadn't known before. Because many of these situations have happened to people I know, I would normally have taken up their cause (have I told you that I am fiercely loyal and take up my friends' burdens!) and jumped into the chasm of yuckiness becoming a huge part of the problem. Well...my friend, I saw growth when I heard these issues and then recognized right away that I was entering into sin by joining in the gossip, and asked not to be told if other situations arise! I realized that I didn't even feel anything about it! I have only had good interactions with the main person involved and didn't want to have any other thoughts about this person!
What? Did I hear myself correctly? I knew right away that God was at work in me! He tested me and this time, I passed! Praise God!
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