Marriage

What is happening to marriages? Over the last year, I have probably heard of more marital issues, separations, divorces, etc...than in all my years put together! I am saddened by all of this.

But when I think of it in light of the messages the world sends us, I am not surprised at all. In fact, I begin to be terribly surprised by each marriage I know that sticks it out!

The world tells us: have it your way, you deserve it, you are worth it, happiness is what life is all about, do what makes you happy, if it feels good do it, and on and on and on.

When those are the messages you are listening to, why then would you stay in a marriage when you are feeling sad, lonely, alone, unhappy, and put upon?

Marriage is hard. There are times of great peace, ease, fun, and happiness. Then there are times of difficulty, pain, work, and feeling as though you are in it by yourself. But marriage isn't about us, or our happiness, or our feelings. Marriage makes us better. Marriage softens our edges and rough spots. Marriage makes us give ourselves up for the betterment of someone else. When you decide to push through the hard parts, to make it to the softer parts, you win!

Winning is remarkably satisfying! Be a winner and push through the pain to gain the rewards of your hard work. You'll be eternally pleased....and so will the children who see how you are doing this thing called "marriage". They will have a better foundation under them when it's time for them to begin making decisions about life and love.

Hopes and Dreams

Get my private pilot's license. Get my master's degree in Education Administration. Own horses. Work as a translator for the U.N.. Live in Spain forever. Travel. Own my own education supply store.

These are just some of the dreams I had in my younger years. Some of them even into marriage. My kids are always amazed when they find out either things I have done in my life (I am certified in scuba), or things I have wanted to do. I know it's because it's hard to imagine your mom as being unmarried, with dreams and hopes.

I still have some of those same dreams....though I know that in reality most of them won't happen. I have new dreams now too.

Being the best mom ever. Loving my husband like no wife has ever loved her husband. Walking so humbly with my God. Trying something new everyday. Having grandchildren. Baking and cooking new things often.

New dreams don't mean settled-for dreams. They change as the reality of my life changes. Oh! Deep down I still have pieces of my old self from my old life....so some old dreams are still there...but I sure love the sound of my new dreams!

Friends

I have been blessed in life to have some really great people around me. Starting with my family growing up. We were a small family....two adults, two children. We were close. I was the youngest and the "funny" one. Good place to be in a family, in my opinion!

I've had some great friends. Friends who have been true blue, stand up, and wonderful. I don't keep up with most of them, but they have made an impression on me nonetheless.

I have amazing friends at the moment. I have one in particular who calls me each and every Monday and we hold each other accountable. The questions we ask each other have really helped me! I smile when I see her!!

I love that God has provided gals who are fun, funny, great to be with, and love Jesus! They love me, care enough to speak truth to me, lift me up. In general, they make my life better!

The greatest person God has given me is my husband, Ben. He is my greatest gift and certainly one that I don't deserve....as with all the gifts, people or not, that God has given.

I pray that I am a friend to others as they are to me.

My Life

My kids are gone to my mother's house helping her decorate and bake Christmas cookies. My husband is napping. My laundry is folded. My dishes are done. I have potpourri simmering on the stove. My house is decorated. And I am sitting here in the quiet, watching a sappy Christmas movie (the best kind), and grinning from ear to ear.

My life has had it's ups and downs. Mostly ups really....but a few downs have come my way. I have always felt very protected....from my family, my friends, and most of all God! As I look over my life, I can see where that protection has saved my life (literally in a couple of cases...and spiritually in most).

I don't have everything I want in life. I am not rich. I have stains on my carpet. And sometimes I pull out a fork and find that my dishwasher hasn't gotten all the food off. I smell my milk before I drink any (every time) because I have had rotten milk. I throw tons of food away because we don't get to it before green or white fuzz grows on it. I am addicted to diet cokes and will search my couch and seats of my van to find the money to get a route 44 diet coke from sonic. I love to eat and overdo it frequently. I am about three sizes bigger than I'd prefer to be. I am nut about traditions. I think you can never go overboard with giving presents. I love giving to anyone I know in need. I have a husband who loves to give to anyone he knows in need. I have one child who throws the biggest tantrums I have ever seen. I have trouble being consistent in life. I am moody and emotional.

But the most important thing is that I am loved.

So I sit here grinning from ear to ear. I have the most perfect imperfect life!

Friend of Old

I have been thinking about someone I used to know. We were such good friends. Did most everything together. We made each other laugh. We were there for each other when we cried. She and I shared so many memories with each other.

Several years ago, she became angry with me and wrote me a letter that our friendship was over. I was devastated. There was no talking to her.

So, tonight, I am thinking of her and hoping that she is well, having a great time, and enjoying this Christmas season.

A Funeral...Strange, but True

A viewing and a funeral are a strange thing.

My uncle died recently and tonight was the viewing and funeral. It is surreal to be in a commercial, multi-faith use building. The decor was completely non-descript and bland in a boring classy kind of way. Looking at the front of the room, there was cross that was most certainly interchangeable with a symbol of any other faith tradition. Ewwww...

It's odd to see family I hadn't seen in years. I had cousins show up that I hadn't seen in 22 years. Is it acceptable to laugh in a funeral home? Seems wrong and yet it is what it is.

My uncle's body was in an open casket. And just as when you can't stop looking at a train wreck, I felt compelled to see "him". Of course, it looked just like him and nothing like him at the same time. I don't recall him having that grey hue before, but I do remember that fabulous white, thick, wavy head of hair.

I have some nice memories of my uncle, but I hadn't really seen him much in recent years. He had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's several years ago, and in the last couple of years, the disease had raped him of his mind and capabilities.

There were moments I was overcome with emotion, which was strange since I hadn't seen him in a while. But what was stranger was looking over at some people across the aisle, going through pages on an iPad.

I love my uncle. I love that I went to his funeral. I love that he is no longer trapped in his dwindling body and diminishing mind. I love that he is now in Heaven.

A viewing and a funeral is a strange thing.