After over 21 years of marriage, there are certainly ups and downs. Especially after us meeting in November '86, becoming engaged in December '86, and then getting married in August '87. Also for the 8 months of our engagement, we were apart from each other for almost all of it, minus a couple of weeks. So...all that to say, we have spent the last 21 years actually getting to know each other and becoming friends!
What a ride it has been! I must say, though, that the last year has been the best so far! Ben is really such a great husband! He loves me so much...I am his best friend. He values me and my opinion and makes our children show as much respect for me as he does! (which is a lot!)
There have been times after the kids came along that I gave them much more attention than I gave him, much to my dismay. I have spoken to him over the years about how and why this happened and have worked really hard to correct this. I finally figured out the other day ( I know, I am slow!) that by loving, caring for, and doing things with the kids, Ben is actually showing me love! It makes me happy to see him interacting with them. So, to honor me, and be the best dad he can be, Ben has started taking at least an hour, most days, to take the kids to the park and play with them.
What a joy that is for me. It's two-fold really. One is just that I love that he does that with the kids, but the second (which is much more selfish) is that he gives me that hour or so as a gift. I stay behind and have a little time of quiet and peace. I grab a book and head to our bedroom and our comfy chair and lose myself in the words. It's great fun to see them walking back home after their playdate and begin life again...noise, chaos, and laughter.
Though I am not required to have this time, and Ben is not obligated to take the kids by himself...it is a true gift and probably one of the best ways he can demonstrate his love for me. Thanks Ben...I love you so much.