Tuesday, March 10, 2009

My Dear Daddy

How do you handle bad news? I don't always handle it well and today was no exception. I was at my brother's house borrowing a blow-up mattress, really minding my own business, waiting to take the girls to Target after getting the mattress when BAM! it happened!

My brother, who lives right next door to my mom and daddy, gets a phone call from my mom asking for the two of us, and just the two of us, to come over to their house.

As obedient children, we get the girls settled and head right over. We get in the house, sit down at the kitchen table, and then BAM! it happened again! My daddy states that the scan that had just been done on his brain confirmed....Alzheimer's. We all knew that he was developing dementia, but had been told all along that it was frontal lobe dementia--very different from Alzheimer's. Though we knew daddy was slipping in certain areas, and his abilities were somewhat diminishing, Alzheimer's was not anywhere near my thought.

Apparently I was the only one at the table with my head in the sand. The other three people sat there taking it all in so calmly saying things like "we all knew this was a possibility" and "I'm not angry, I've lived a long life" and "we just need to go from here and live life knowing this is happening". What?! I was not the rational one. I reacted as I have always reacted to things with my family...different from them all! I cried and then I announced my anger; I declared my shock at this whole diagnosis; I admitted I feel cheated. I want my daddy at Bailey's wedding. I want him not only to see his grandchildren, but his great-grandchildren. I don't want him to lose the ability to remember faces of people who have been so precious to him.

I know that life is not about my wants...at least I tell my kids things like that all the time. But this time I'd love for it to be different.

4 comments:

Cheryl said...

Oh Lisa, I am so sad to hear that news. Your Dad is precious to me. Both your Mom and Dad mentored and encouraged Gabe and I as we started our marriage and to this day they both love on us every chance they get. My grandfather also had Alzheimer's. I will be fervently praying for your entire family as you walk together through this.

Melissa Williams said...

Bless your heart. I am praying for you!!! My grandma had dimentia...and that was hard... I can only imagine alzheimers! Just know that you remember your Daddy the way he really is...and think of all the memories you are able to share with your children. We will be praying for your family in the days to come! Love you!

Alisa Cornelison said...

You react exactly the way I do. My father passed away when Greyson was only 7 months old and my reaction was that he would not see Greyson grow into a wonderful man or even see any of my other future children. Your family will be in my prayers as you head down this new path with your father.

Debate That! said...

Mrs. Lisa, I am extremely sorry about this.....I pray that God will comfort you through this time of grief. Just know that we all love you and that God never puts us through more than we can handle. I heart you!