How do you handle bad news? I don't always handle it well and today was no exception. I was at my brother's house borrowing a blow-up mattress, really minding my own business, waiting to take the girls to Target after getting the mattress when BAM! it happened!
My brother, who lives right next door to my mom and daddy, gets a phone call from my mom asking for the two of us, and just the two of us, to come over to their house.
As obedient children, we get the girls settled and head right over. We get in the house, sit down at the kitchen table, and then BAM! it happened again! My daddy states that the scan that had just been done on his brain confirmed....Alzheimer's. We all knew that he was developing dementia, but had been told all along that it was frontal lobe dementia--very different from Alzheimer's. Though we knew daddy was slipping in certain areas, and his abilities were somewhat diminishing, Alzheimer's was not anywhere near my thought.
Apparently I was the only one at the table with my head in the sand. The other three people sat there taking it all in so calmly saying things like "we all knew this was a possibility" and "I'm not angry, I've lived a long life" and "we just need to go from here and live life knowing this is happening". What?! I was not the rational one. I reacted as I have always reacted to things with my family...different from them all! I cried and then I announced my anger; I declared my shock at this whole diagnosis; I admitted I feel cheated. I want my daddy at Bailey's wedding. I want him not only to see his grandchildren, but his great-grandchildren. I don't want him to lose the ability to remember faces of people who have been so precious to him.
I know that life is not about my wants...at least I tell my kids things like that all the time. But this time I'd love for it to be different.